How Are You?

"How are you?" I am asked accompanied by a look of concern that quickly changes to a beaming smile as they state, "You look great!"

What to say? The short answer is, "I'm fine and thanks." Though it shaves the truth a bit, I've at least given an answer, appreciated the compliment, and made way for the conversation to move on. Most folks just want reassurance that I'm doing well.

A slightly longer and more complete answer is, "Considering I've had two brain re-arrangments within seven months, I'm spectacular. Really! But it sure has taken the starch out of me. I'm very tired."

Members of a forum for the 'brain rearranged', I am not alone. No matter how young or how healthy the patient at the time of surgery, fatigue plagues us all as if our brain-to-body circuitry has been altered to a lower amperage. Medically, I have no restrictions yet I have real limits as to how active I can be.

Awake at dawn, my energy is high; by noon it is depleted. Currently I am challenged in choosing how to spend those precious morning hours. As long as the weather holds, I walk immediately following a breakfast of eat groats and fruit. Everything else is juggled as I try to pack a full day into a half. After lunch I nap hoping to arise to another morning - to have two mornings a day. Naps give me a half measure of energy, enough for reading or visiting with friends. On my better days I prepare a simple dinner after which my dear husband does KP.

From day to day I am uncertain what will be my capacity. Planning is inappropriate for now. If I push too hard or too fast, I am plunged into frustration or depression. Instead of attempting the impossible, I search for the ever elusive right balance between rest and activity. Finding what will be my "new normal" will take several more months. All in good fine.